What is Happening

lol. I've never invited so much drama into my life all at once. Honestly, I think I could live without it. Sometimes it just feels like I don't really belong here and people are so disappointed in me for not being the way they want me to be, for not getting what they desired.

I'm sorry. People make me apologize for everything and it's fine.

Two things I'm known for is my honesty and that I'm forgiving. I wouldn't lie about important things ever.

I would never say ''I love you'' to someone without really meaning it. So that's why I've never said it to anyone.

Usually I maybe hurt other people with the truth. But I'd rather just stay honest because truth hurts for a while but a lie hurts forever. I wouldn't lead anyone on before knowing for sure it wouldn't all just crash in the fucking end.

I just don't think love is made for me. I've never experienced it, I've always taken care of myself and I think I'd be better off alone. I can't even IMAGINE myself being in a relationship. As a girlfriend, I mean. I don't blame it on anyone or anything but maybe things would have been different if I've lived another life, maybe not. Because this is simply me.

And I don't even want to fall in love.

Ever.

Life is much easier this way, I think. I mean, I was always happy and satisfied. OK. Something happened that made my head spin and made me all confused, but I can control it. And I can choose what to feel.

I'm staying at my sister's. She's sending many kisses.